Finding out the hard way

So, it’s been almost a month since my last post. Still taking the Olanzapine every night, because I came to realize that I definitely wasn’t able to control myself without it. How? Well, let’s say I found out the hard way.

After the rise comes the fall. And the meds.

So it’s been a while and a lot has changed. After the first two weeks of euphoria and carelessness, an anxious feeling started to creep through every once in a while. I started to question what I’d done, realising there would come a moment that I’d regret all of it – or at least parts of it. Nonetheless, those moments wouldn’t last long before they switched back to hypomanic me, being high on life and enjoying every bit of it. As long as no one confronted me with the silly stuff I’d done, I could just keep going.

Hypomanic madness: why fight something that feels so good?

Went to see my therapist yesterday and he told me I’m very likely hypomanic at the moment. I kind of knew already, but tried to ignore it. I just can’t understand how I would have to fight something that feels so unbelievably good. I know I probably sound like your typical hypomanic by saying this, but I don’t feel like I’m spinning out of control, so I don’t see any reasons to fight the good feeling.